A relationship – romantic or otherwise – falls apart because of one (or more) participant’s strict adherence to a personal code.
Time Limit: 35 Minutes
The air smelled like a combination of cat urine and rotten eggs. Terrence couldn’t see through the blindfold, but he knew he had never been here before. Sound echoed at a higher pitch than usual.
“Worthless piece of shit.”
That was Martin. He had only met him twice, but his voice was unmistakable.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
A fist landed in his belly. He had steeled himself for that eventuality but lost his breath anyway.
Terrence coughed. “I assumed you would.”
Another fist, this time to the head. He blacked out.
A warehouse. Boxes. Rat shit. Someone didn’t pay. A chair, like the one he’s in now. A hooded figure. His hands. A gun. Duty.
“I liked you,” Martin said. “What the fuck?”
He sounded a little desperate. As if Terrence was playing a long con and he had to figure him out.
“You might not want to see this babe. Things could get ugly.”
So he wasn’t alone.
“You mean you’re going to kill him?” A female voice.
“Whatever,” she replied.
Another fist to the gut. He coughed up blood.
Three times he had done this. It was easy. Everyone had deserved it. His arm raises. The gun cocks. No! A shriek. Female. He freezes. His partner notices. Hands around his neck. His partner passes out. The rope unties. The hood comes off. She’s beautiful. Go!
“Hey, shithead. This is your last chance. What the fuck is your plan?”
No lie would matter. And anyway, Terrence always told the truth.
“I don’t kill women,” he said.
There was a pause. A good twenty seconds passed, with only a tapping foot interrupting the silence.
“She reneged. On. A. Deal.” Martin had lost all semblance of calm.
“I don’t kill women,” Terrence repeated.
A giggle. Then a belly laugh. “Well,” said Martin. The cold barrel of a magnum pressed against his temple. “That should make this easier. You’re not a threat. Just a soft-belly chickenshit.”
A shot exploded through the room.
Three seconds later, his hood was removed.
“I don’t kill women either. Let’s go!” She was beautiful.
K: Here’s another one I like because you took a much different approach to the relationship. Also, when you play in this realm it’s easy to dive into the unbelievable, but I bought into these guys being unable to kill the woman as part of a code of honor. It’s not the most eye-popping prose or the most original concept, but it’s an okay idea well-executed. SILVER
MN – Should I have seen this coming? I might even have, a one point in the story. But the flashbacks really didn’t work here for some reason. Maybe they could have been done all through dialogue? Every time you jumped I was confused for too long, especially since the two scenes were so similar in type. Still, I really like this plot. The ending doesn’t feel too out-of-nowhere, so it ends up going a long way, despite the problems with the flashbacks. SILVER
Heeeeeeeey! I got immunity!