I’m back from my honeymoon, so it’s time to catch ya’ll up on how things are going in Survivor. I wrote two stories while on the plane and did no editing, so please forgive me. This week we had to write about someone who takes elements of their old job and puts it into their new job.
“Hi! My name is Roxy. I’m ready for my audition.”
“Okay Roxy, sit down on that couch will ya now. We’ll begin as soon as Peter is ready which is usually in ten seconds. Ten seconds, now nine, nine seconds, nine and we have eight seconds, eight, eight, seven seconds, seven, just six more seconds left, six, and now that’s five, we have five seconds, four, four, four, and now three seconds, yup almost there, two seconds, that’s two seconds, and one second, one more second, and scene.”
“Okay, Roxy has just begun and we’ll be counting back up from one. Pay attention will ya now we have one, one, do I hear two, two. Yes folks we have two. We have two but we can get to three, I know we can. Up next is three, and there we have three, now three. And yes we have four. That’s four does anybody want five. Do I hear five, five. We have five and let’s go for six, time’s a wastin’ do I hear six. Eight! We have eight folks. That’s eight and we surely have a prize here. Eight, do I hear nine? Nine, nine. Going once, go…nine! Nine. Can we get a ten. Ten, will ya now ten. Oh my goodness gracious we have ten! I don’t think she can go any further. Going once, ten going twice, gone! Congratulations Roxy the part is yours.”
“Okay, now ya’ll hear next up we have auditions for Back Door Bitches 9.”
K: Good God, Survivor. I was already amused at your audacity, spending the vast majority of the time forcing us to read about people counting. This should be too crass to be anything of value, but the way we get there is important, and this was a clever turn after a very bizarre read. BRONZE
DK: To be honest, both of these pieces – the auctioneer and the porn director – strike me as funny ideas that are extremely difficult to find ways to keep them interesting over the course of a story, with any approach.
It appears I amused the judges, so that’s good. Our team did very well, except for Leif, who forgot when the deadline was and didn’t submit a story. Thus, he was quickly deposited out of the game and our team is down to six players. Still no merge. I’ll update you tomorrow with another story that happened while I was away.